New beginnings.
Start with a disappointed heart and maybe something new. Perhaps a haircut or moving into an apartment. Maybe just going for a run.
You buy the feeling of home with lamps and trinkets and crockpots or haircolor or shoes.
Big dreams of coming home after a evening-lit night with friends.
Until you find yourself staying at home all day with not much accomplished except for a painted face and curled hair. Normally considered wasted effort, but maybe tonight I needed to feel done up even though no eyes would see.
So what do you do when plans with friends fall through? Facebook. Movies on tv. Bake. Paint nails. Cuddle with blanket. Revamp blog. Be inspired. Listen to music. Write. Think. Be.
Independence grows. Hobbies become necessity. Love is found in a book. The art of being alone is illuminated when you imagine a room of people, but you end up being the only one in the room. Sometimes it is uncomfortable and uneasy. Other days it is comforting and relaxing. Always a balance that never seems to set perfectly. You wonder if anyone else you know feels the way you do.
Maybe new friends need to come along.
Maybe I should get some babysitting jobs.
Maybe I'm a recluse.
Maybe I just need to go see a movie in the theater by myself and enjoy the moment.
This moment...it may not always be ideal, but it can definitely be beautiful.
Unknowns are widespread and at times, unwanted, but life is a blessing - not meant to be wasted.
Joy can be found when you understand that you are not complete yet and there is still a journey calling
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