Safe
by Phil Wickam
(listen here)
Verse:
To the one who's dreams are falling all apart
And all you're left with is a tired and broken heart
I can tell by your eyes you think your on your own
but you're not all alone
Have you heard of the One who can calm the raging seas
Give sight to the blind, pull the lame up to their feet
With a love so strong and never let you go
oh you're not alone
Chorus:
You will be safe in His arms
You will be safe in His arms
'Cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart
This is the promise He made
He will be with You always
When everything is falling apart
You will be safe in His arms
Verse 2:
Did you know that the voice that brings the dead to life
Is the very same voice that calls you to rise
So hear Him now He's calling you home
You will never be alone
Bridge:
These are the hands that built the mountains
the hands that calm the seas
These are the arms that hold the heavens
they are holding you and me
These are hands that healed the leper
Pulled the lame up to their feet
These are the arms that were nailed to a cross
to break our chains and set us free
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
The "M" Word
I would say that most girls start young in their dreams of becoming married. I know I did. I think Barbie got married to Ken at least once a day. For a long time, we hear and are fed all the romantic and fun that you have in marriage...a wonderful life of travel, sex, cuddling, going home together, decorating your house, the joys of having to pick up his dirty laundry - how "wife" of you - eating all your meals together, having babies, etc. I think that sometimes we don't always see the reality of it until we are in it or someone opens up to us about it. Maybe, I've just been blind for so long.
I'm struggling. See...I thought marriage was something I always wanted - something that was so great and perfect, but lets be honest: there are major struggles in any marriage and everything is not peaches and roses. Maybe I've just heard/seen some pretty tough marriages lately, which is affecting my view, but perhaps I need to see this reality.
You are making a decision to be with one person the rest of you E.V.E.R-L.O.V.I.N.G life. Who would be so bold to marry me!? You know I've got my issues, yes I do...and you do too. It is a scary thought to think that I could love someone and he could love me through all the...well, let's be honest...shit - for like 50+ years, even! Seriously?! Emotions aside...you've got to buckle down and stick with that person when they smell, can't put their clothes in a laundry basket, annoy the hell out of you, and hurt you because they are being so darn selfish. And I apologize now to whatever poor boy decides I'm his for life. He will be so upset to know that I'm a bitch when I'm not in a good mood or Aunt Flow comes into town. I hold a grudge if you do not make me feel like you don't want me around. I am a drill sergeant when it comes to being on time to places (which isn't as bad as it used to be). If I'm hungry - you better watch out and not keep me from my meal too much longer. Oh I'm sure you all could point more flaws out in me...but I'll save myself from allowing you to. ;-)
Look...life isn't so much about marriage anymore. I hope one day I can have a family and all those "fun" things like traveling and coming home to him and sex because I think there are those wonderful and beautiful moments in a marriage and probably more often than I realize. However, marriage, I feel, may be so much more about serving the man I'm to be with - laying myself down for him when it is ugly. Choosing to stay married to him when I feel like I don't love him and I question if this was the right thing to do.
We are the bride of Christ. God's love for us shows the perfect example of how a marriage should be. He picks up our nasty laundry, deals with our spiteful and selfish attitudes, listens to our bitter and angry words, comes into our mess - the one we created, and instead of backing out and saying He is done, He picks up our nasty laundry and cleans it, He serves us despite our selfishness, He responds to our bitter and angry words with love and compassion, and He helps us rebuild the mess we've made. What amazing love.
No human love is perfect like Christ's and we will for sure fail...but if a man is ever called to commit to be in a marriage with me knowing full well the ugly they will endure and they still decide they will will rely on Christ and use His love for them as an example and blueprint...I would be so blessed.
Here's the thing: I think when you find that you know someone's crap and know there may be a lot more of it that you haven't realize but will once you get married and you still choose to commit, love, pray, desire communion with them like Christ does for you...that must be a pretty special person. I don't think God just brings those type of people into your life everyday.
I'm struggling. See...I thought marriage was something I always wanted - something that was so great and perfect, but lets be honest: there are major struggles in any marriage and everything is not peaches and roses. Maybe I've just heard/seen some pretty tough marriages lately, which is affecting my view, but perhaps I need to see this reality.
You are making a decision to be with one person the rest of you E.V.E.R-L.O.V.I.N.G life. Who would be so bold to marry me!? You know I've got my issues, yes I do...and you do too. It is a scary thought to think that I could love someone and he could love me through all the...well, let's be honest...shit - for like 50+ years, even! Seriously?! Emotions aside...you've got to buckle down and stick with that person when they smell, can't put their clothes in a laundry basket, annoy the hell out of you, and hurt you because they are being so darn selfish. And I apologize now to whatever poor boy decides I'm his for life. He will be so upset to know that I'm a bitch when I'm not in a good mood or Aunt Flow comes into town. I hold a grudge if you do not make me feel like you don't want me around. I am a drill sergeant when it comes to being on time to places (which isn't as bad as it used to be). If I'm hungry - you better watch out and not keep me from my meal too much longer. Oh I'm sure you all could point more flaws out in me...but I'll save myself from allowing you to. ;-)
Look...life isn't so much about marriage anymore. I hope one day I can have a family and all those "fun" things like traveling and coming home to him and sex because I think there are those wonderful and beautiful moments in a marriage and probably more often than I realize. However, marriage, I feel, may be so much more about serving the man I'm to be with - laying myself down for him when it is ugly. Choosing to stay married to him when I feel like I don't love him and I question if this was the right thing to do.
We are the bride of Christ. God's love for us shows the perfect example of how a marriage should be. He picks up our nasty laundry, deals with our spiteful and selfish attitudes, listens to our bitter and angry words, comes into our mess - the one we created, and instead of backing out and saying He is done, He picks up our nasty laundry and cleans it, He serves us despite our selfishness, He responds to our bitter and angry words with love and compassion, and He helps us rebuild the mess we've made. What amazing love.
No human love is perfect like Christ's and we will for sure fail...but if a man is ever called to commit to be in a marriage with me knowing full well the ugly they will endure and they still decide they will will rely on Christ and use His love for them as an example and blueprint...I would be so blessed.
Here's the thing: I think when you find that you know someone's crap and know there may be a lot more of it that you haven't realize but will once you get married and you still choose to commit, love, pray, desire communion with them like Christ does for you...that must be a pretty special person. I don't think God just brings those type of people into your life everyday.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Four Words
Once, when I was a little girl, I was so nervous, but excited. Awe struck...no, love struck. I had carefully crafted my heart on paper. My words were chosen carefully, but I wasn't trying to come on too strong. I just wasn't that kind of girl - even at such a young age. My idea of putting myself out there probably came off as more of a "friendship" message when I wanted so much more. I gave the missionary boy the letter...and quickly ran away. For once I went through with something, but it didn't matter. I wasn't strikingly beautiful or even overtly outgoing that I would be remembered. He never came. He didn't even come talk to me. I look back now and laugh - of course it wasn't meant to be - he was a missionary kid and moved around - only in town for a week at most. That was probably the biggest risk I ever took when it came to my little girl dreams: the note to the missionary kid.
I'm not usually a risk taker when it comes to love. In some ways, I will always be the quiet girl on the row of chairs who waits patiently for the boy to come ask me to dance. I'm the girl who watches friends experience that excitement first, and I tell myself over and over again...someday...and I do my best to put on my smile and keep my chin up. I'm not typical - I'm not a go-getter. I don't live under a rock (most of the time), but I come more alive when you find me and start a conversation with me, and if you want to take me on adventures, I will go with you and love every minute. I'll be honest, I'm picky, but once you've won me over, I will love you and cherish you forever if you would let me. My heart will be good to you and love you as best as I know how. I am not a mean person, at least I try not to be. I just want to be loved, accepted, appreciated and do the same for you. I will wrong you at times and be selfish, but I want to learn how to serve you more. I'm willing to forgive and try again, because I know I'm just like you - not perfect and never will be. I'm simple. I don't need fancy, but sometimes will glam myself up when I want to, but get my outdoor face on the next. I'm not afraid to trust and commit to you if you will do the same for me. I just want someone who will stick it out with me when I'm ugly and rude because they know I'm not always like that and that I have a soft, gentle side too. I want someone who isn't afraid of letting me in. I won't let you go or reject you...ever - no matter where you are in life, and you will never be an inconvenience to me. I strive to love you like Christ loves you. I'm not perfect at it - not one bit, but you can always know I will never stop trying.
This is me...the girl who takes no risks, yet will take the biggest risk with you.
God has some doors closed for now and sometimes I ask him, "Am I that messed up that you have to hold me back for a little while longer?" Maybe I am. Maybe I need to realize that Jesus gives me all I would ever need, and His love is enough. He is getting me there slowly. It may not feel like I am moving, but I'm trusting He is moving me closer to Him. I am trusting He is working on my heart to find only Him. In this journey, he is rebuilding those parts of my life that have been slowly destroyed from my youth because they have been without Him. I cry because I sometimes have a hard time trusting in His will, especially when my heart hurts so bad. But I know there have been those little moments in this darkness where he has tugged at me and said, "I love you, Elizabeth" and I'm trying to put my whole heart behind it and give him four hand squeezes: "I love you, too."
It is funny what you learn about love as you go through life. I think the Lord is revealing to me how to love, but even more than that, He is teaching me how to love Him first. Maybe one day the Lord will entrust me to put a guy in the right place: "The most important one...Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all of your mind. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself," (Mark 12:29-30) but for now I believe He wants the first alone.
I'm not usually a risk taker when it comes to love. In some ways, I will always be the quiet girl on the row of chairs who waits patiently for the boy to come ask me to dance. I'm the girl who watches friends experience that excitement first, and I tell myself over and over again...someday...and I do my best to put on my smile and keep my chin up. I'm not typical - I'm not a go-getter. I don't live under a rock (most of the time), but I come more alive when you find me and start a conversation with me, and if you want to take me on adventures, I will go with you and love every minute. I'll be honest, I'm picky, but once you've won me over, I will love you and cherish you forever if you would let me. My heart will be good to you and love you as best as I know how. I am not a mean person, at least I try not to be. I just want to be loved, accepted, appreciated and do the same for you. I will wrong you at times and be selfish, but I want to learn how to serve you more. I'm willing to forgive and try again, because I know I'm just like you - not perfect and never will be. I'm simple. I don't need fancy, but sometimes will glam myself up when I want to, but get my outdoor face on the next. I'm not afraid to trust and commit to you if you will do the same for me. I just want someone who will stick it out with me when I'm ugly and rude because they know I'm not always like that and that I have a soft, gentle side too. I want someone who isn't afraid of letting me in. I won't let you go or reject you...ever - no matter where you are in life, and you will never be an inconvenience to me. I strive to love you like Christ loves you. I'm not perfect at it - not one bit, but you can always know I will never stop trying.
This is me...the girl who takes no risks, yet will take the biggest risk with you.
God has some doors closed for now and sometimes I ask him, "Am I that messed up that you have to hold me back for a little while longer?" Maybe I am. Maybe I need to realize that Jesus gives me all I would ever need, and His love is enough. He is getting me there slowly. It may not feel like I am moving, but I'm trusting He is moving me closer to Him. I am trusting He is working on my heart to find only Him. In this journey, he is rebuilding those parts of my life that have been slowly destroyed from my youth because they have been without Him. I cry because I sometimes have a hard time trusting in His will, especially when my heart hurts so bad. But I know there have been those little moments in this darkness where he has tugged at me and said, "I love you, Elizabeth" and I'm trying to put my whole heart behind it and give him four hand squeezes: "I love you, too."
It is funny what you learn about love as you go through life. I think the Lord is revealing to me how to love, but even more than that, He is teaching me how to love Him first. Maybe one day the Lord will entrust me to put a guy in the right place: "The most important one...Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all of your mind. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself," (Mark 12:29-30) but for now I believe He wants the first alone.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
1 Blind Mouse
Psalm 13
For the director of music. A psalm of David.
1 How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
3 Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
4 my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
5 But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6 I will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.
Oh how this Psalm speaks what I so badly need to cry out to the Lord. I first found this passage this week as I went through my Beth Moore Bible study. Today I started reading another book that had this exact same passage. You think the Lord is trying to get me to pray this? I might have to believe it is so.
Have you ever been in a moment where you are just so wishing to be removed from darkness. Verse 1-4 are completely my heart right now. I'm in a place where I feel like the Lord has forgotten me and is hiding his face. I feel like if the Lord keeps me here much longer, Satan is going to win a battle, and I'll be overcome and stuck with my unbelief. I'm like one of the three blind mice in Shrek trying to find my way around - I'm a fumbling idiot and probably look extremely hopeless and helpless. The only exception is that I probably don't look as cute as those little guys. My despair probably reads all over my face, and I know it is definitely affecting who I am - fun, strong, faithful Elizabeth. Am I even that woman anymore? My tune is the tune to a very different song in these days - definitely not one you would want to get up and dance to - not even ask me to come hang out. Talk about party pooper!
How could David pray this and yet say verse 5 and 6? That is my question. In my last post I talked about God's unfailing love. Deep down, I know He is lavishing me with love, but how could David honestly and boldly pray those last two verses when he was in such a state of despair?
5 But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6 I will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.
I so badly wish I could pray these words with confidence and security, but I'll be honest - I'm questioning how I can trust unfailing love when my world has been turned upside down. Don't get me wrong - it is not that I don't desire complete trust in God and to fully believe His unfailing love is there for me - I do. So badly I do! I want to be secure and confident in God's unfailing love, but I feel like I'm a mess and failing miserably t0 understand and trust it. The catch is this is all probably His way of revealing His unfailing love and teaching me how to trust. It just seems like a battle where I'm so close to the edge of losing it all completely and being overcome by the enemy and his lies. Yet..."He has been good to me" and will be good to me...somehow. What a struggle.
Lord, give light to my eyes.
For the director of music. A psalm of David.
1 How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
3 Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
4 my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
5 But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6 I will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.
Oh how this Psalm speaks what I so badly need to cry out to the Lord. I first found this passage this week as I went through my Beth Moore Bible study. Today I started reading another book that had this exact same passage. You think the Lord is trying to get me to pray this? I might have to believe it is so.
Have you ever been in a moment where you are just so wishing to be removed from darkness. Verse 1-4 are completely my heart right now. I'm in a place where I feel like the Lord has forgotten me and is hiding his face. I feel like if the Lord keeps me here much longer, Satan is going to win a battle, and I'll be overcome and stuck with my unbelief. I'm like one of the three blind mice in Shrek trying to find my way around - I'm a fumbling idiot and probably look extremely hopeless and helpless. The only exception is that I probably don't look as cute as those little guys. My despair probably reads all over my face, and I know it is definitely affecting who I am - fun, strong, faithful Elizabeth. Am I even that woman anymore? My tune is the tune to a very different song in these days - definitely not one you would want to get up and dance to - not even ask me to come hang out. Talk about party pooper!How could David pray this and yet say verse 5 and 6? That is my question. In my last post I talked about God's unfailing love. Deep down, I know He is lavishing me with love, but how could David honestly and boldly pray those last two verses when he was in such a state of despair?
5 But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6 I will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.
I so badly wish I could pray these words with confidence and security, but I'll be honest - I'm questioning how I can trust unfailing love when my world has been turned upside down. Don't get me wrong - it is not that I don't desire complete trust in God and to fully believe His unfailing love is there for me - I do. So badly I do! I want to be secure and confident in God's unfailing love, but I feel like I'm a mess and failing miserably t0 understand and trust it. The catch is this is all probably His way of revealing His unfailing love and teaching me how to trust. It just seems like a battle where I'm so close to the edge of losing it all completely and being overcome by the enemy and his lies. Yet..."He has been good to me" and will be good to me...somehow. What a struggle.
Lord, give light to my eyes.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Shapening A Heart
One thing that you may not know about me is that I love all things that have the shape of a heart. I love my painting that I made of heart. I own a turquoise, heart-shaped ring and it is a buy I will never regret. And, if I have a daughter someday, bless her soul, she will have heart stuff whether it is a blanket, outfit, bow, shoes – I don’t know – but she will grow to love hearts from her crazy heart-loving mommy.
Maybe my love of hearts is a greater reality of my love for people. I’m one of those people who will love you and your heart if I get to see a little piece of it. I love the heart of my friends who are able to speak truth and grace to me. I love the heart of those who are breaking and can let others in during those times. I love the heart of those that listen when you just need to let it out. I love the heart of people who can admit their wrong but learn from it. I love the heart of those who are seeking for change and growth, truth and guidance even if it takes refinement so meticulous it hurts. I love the heart of those who are wise and patient with me. I love the heart of those who accept me when I’m crazy or plain ‘ole annoying. I love the heart of those who forgive me of my selfishness, and still love me all the same, time and time again. Hopefully I do the same.
Recently, I’ve been learning that I am usually aware how God loves and longs for the heart of others, yet I rarely see how He loves me. I would say I’m in a moment of refinement. The Lord is really working on my heart, because I have a great sin of unbelief – unbelief that GOD LOVES ME. Can you say that out loud? “God loves me.” Just say it…can you? Often times we want to change it and say “God loves you,” (I don’t have a problem telling you that) but no…I need to start saying, “God loves me!” because this is where I have trouble and unbelief. Why is it so hard for me to believe God loves me so much?
I think I may be finding answers to this question:
1. My unbelief in God’s love for me
2. My failure to understand God’s love
So what am I learning? That I have to make a choice. Emotionally, there will be times when I’m so into Jesus and feel his love, and at other times I question His love and it is probably based on my circumstances of life. You know what…it is time to make a choice about this - emotions aside. God loves me…ALWAYS. I will make it my choice, in times when I question this, to believe He does because He says He does in His word.
Here is the second part: God’s love can never really be understood, but we can learn more about His love more than we know now – God is just too lofty for me to fully know what His love is like, and I have a fragmented knowledge of God’s love. I humanize Him and think that His love is conditional, like man. Here is a truth. Do you know what all humans desire?
“What man desires is unfailing love.” –Proverbs 19:22
Unfailing love. Isn’t that just hard to imagine – someone who loves us unfailingly!?! When I think about all the people who love me, they have also failed in loving me someway whether they realize it or not (and I just as guilty). It isn’t necessarily their fault, but they just aren’t physically, emotionally, or spiritually possible to give me, give you what we all desire: unfailing love. I can’t even describe that kind of love, but God is that love. He is the ONLY person/thing that will love us unfailingly. Luckily for me, God is surpassing my fragmented knowledge of love and teaching me of the greater reality of what His love is. His unfailing love is all I need. Any other love He allows in my life (i.e. friendships, relationships, children, happiness, chocolate, etc.) is just an added blessing-bonus, an overflow of heart-shaped things.
I don’t have God’s love down perfectly and trust me, there are times when I question it…but in those moments where I’m facing unbelief, I am making a choice to trust the Lord of His unfailing love.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
The Vow of Silence
It has been said that women speak or convey ~25,000 – 30,000 words a day while men only speak around ~15,000 words. I laugh when I think of how many women just bombard the men in their lives with thousands of words and thoughts. Those poor men having to listen to us. And we, yes, we poor woman when we baffle at men who say so little. I would consider myself a quiet person at times, but I’m sure if you gave me the chance I could talk your ear off as well, and I’m sure I am guilty of putting guys through more “Elizabeth-talk” than they really care for. Raised hand…guilty.
Right now, I am in this sort of “vow of silence,” which when you consider that it is in my womanly nature to speak 25,000+ words in a given day, I’m DYING! I’m sure working in a cubical everyday doesn’t help either. How do you stay silent when there is so much you want to say? How do you rest in peace and silence when you just want to burst out and make yourself known and heard and have someone respond?
You know the door is open to God to talk and pray. He is waiting for us to come to Him. Well, when I must remain silent, thank goodness God is not a man who can only verbalize 15,000 words a day and can’t bear to stand the thousands more that come from my mouth and thoughts (I’m probably more around 50,000 words these days). I have lots to talk about. I have a lot I want to know. Questions to ask, things to figure out, a Jesus to overwhelm. Yet in the midst of our talking, we are also called to be silent and rest. God says, “Be still and know that I am God.” What does being still look like? Does it mean lying on my bed waiting for an “Ah Ha!” moment as Oprah would say (why am I referencing this crazy woman??). Does it mean going on a walk and not talking? Does it mean not thinking (How could I possibly do that?).
Let me think out loud for a moment…being still…resting…resting means giving into our need of sleep…giving ourselves a break…letting things be the way they are for now, knowing it won’t be like that forever and we'll have better, lasting strength if we rest and nourish ourselves…being still…not moving…or maybe being calm, steady….resting in God…resting in the fact that He knows my needs…knows my heart and desires…resting in the fact He is doing something bigger, better…being still in God…having peace, not fear…being confident in His promises…knowing He will move me when it is time, but for now I should be still…
Right now, I am in this sort of “vow of silence,” which when you consider that it is in my womanly nature to speak 25,000+ words in a given day, I’m DYING! I’m sure working in a cubical everyday doesn’t help either. How do you stay silent when there is so much you want to say? How do you rest in peace and silence when you just want to burst out and make yourself known and heard and have someone respond?
You know the door is open to God to talk and pray. He is waiting for us to come to Him. Well, when I must remain silent, thank goodness God is not a man who can only verbalize 15,000 words a day and can’t bear to stand the thousands more that come from my mouth and thoughts (I’m probably more around 50,000 words these days). I have lots to talk about. I have a lot I want to know. Questions to ask, things to figure out, a Jesus to overwhelm. Yet in the midst of our talking, we are also called to be silent and rest. God says, “Be still and know that I am God.” What does being still look like? Does it mean lying on my bed waiting for an “Ah Ha!” moment as Oprah would say (why am I referencing this crazy woman??). Does it mean going on a walk and not talking? Does it mean not thinking (How could I possibly do that?).
Let me think out loud for a moment…being still…resting…resting means giving into our need of sleep…giving ourselves a break…letting things be the way they are for now, knowing it won’t be like that forever and we'll have better, lasting strength if we rest and nourish ourselves…being still…not moving…or maybe being calm, steady….resting in God…resting in the fact that He knows my needs…knows my heart and desires…resting in the fact He is doing something bigger, better…being still in God…having peace, not fear…being confident in His promises…knowing He will move me when it is time, but for now I should be still…
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Less Traveled
"The Road Not Taken"
by Robert Frost
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler long I stood
And looked down one as far I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as far as that passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how the way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged into a wood, and I -
took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
I would consider myself a follower - not much of a leader. I take the road often traveled by others. Take my best childhood friend as an example. She leads in everything, and I always tried to filled her steps when we were younger - one day we were playing and her leg hair was gone! What?! "Your mom let you do it?!" I was jealous and didn't want to be the outsider so I went home and begged my mom if I could shave my legs too. There was also another time she answered her door with a brand new, short haircut. What did I do? Yep, I chopped mine off too. She was the girl all the guys went for in 6th grade, and I was just her friend that they never really cared for. I actually dated a guy for 3 days in 6th grade after she and he broke up (talk about sloppy 6th grade seconds!). Oh, and her birthday is before mine, which means she of course got her license way before me (although really it was only two months, but it seemed like eternity).
Even in the midst of being a follower, I play by the rules hard and never tend to stray from them (goodie two-shoes, I'm telling ya!). I make sure everything is in its place or has a place. I am a people-pleaser. Basically, I could be taken advantage of because I just don't want to be on your bad side. Far too often, how I make decisions carefully considers how it impacts others or how others will respond to that decision. Sadly, this brings me to no life - at least not mine.
You see, life brings you a lot of paths you can take. However, it is like no one path is the same for anyone. I'm sure you can say you've had some interesting forks-in-the-road instantly appear throughout your life. There are hard decisions to make and everyone has their opinion about how you should go about making the journey. If I could do anything, I would just ask God to take me to Heaven instead of making difficult decision, but obviously, I think he has me at the fork for a reason. Here is my advice: Seek truth. Seek truth from God. Seek truth in His Word.
People are always going to give you their two cents. Coming from the girl who wants to make everyone happy - forget those people (am I acutally saying this? Sorry - shocker to me!). Yes, you can listen and take their advice for what it is worth and maybe some of it will be good for you to apply to your life - but, ultimately, my goal is to be in God's will. Right now, my life is at a fork in more than one area - maybe I need to take the road less traveled - maybe I need to take some risks. Maybe I need to take the road where people may not understand the "hows" or "whys" and may respond with a, "What are you thinking?" or "I don't know if you are making the right decision." Maybe.
So what now? I'll be honest. I'm nervous and don't necessary like the unknowns of life. The Lord is building in me a lot of trust in Him. He has taken a lot of my controlling hand off of my life. I know this is the best, but trusting can be hard...
Luckily this is what God says:
Matthew 17:20
"If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you"
So my mustard seed faith is simply this: I know the Lord is good and has plans to prosper me. He will reveal to me which roads I am to take throughout my lifetime if I remain in Him.
by Robert Frost
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler long I stood
And looked down one as far I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as far as that passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how the way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged into a wood, and I -
took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
I would consider myself a follower - not much of a leader. I take the road often traveled by others. Take my best childhood friend as an example. She leads in everything, and I always tried to filled her steps when we were younger - one day we were playing and her leg hair was gone! What?! "Your mom let you do it?!" I was jealous and didn't want to be the outsider so I went home and begged my mom if I could shave my legs too. There was also another time she answered her door with a brand new, short haircut. What did I do? Yep, I chopped mine off too. She was the girl all the guys went for in 6th grade, and I was just her friend that they never really cared for. I actually dated a guy for 3 days in 6th grade after she and he broke up (talk about sloppy 6th grade seconds!). Oh, and her birthday is before mine, which means she of course got her license way before me (although really it was only two months, but it seemed like eternity).
Even in the midst of being a follower, I play by the rules hard and never tend to stray from them (goodie two-shoes, I'm telling ya!). I make sure everything is in its place or has a place. I am a people-pleaser. Basically, I could be taken advantage of because I just don't want to be on your bad side. Far too often, how I make decisions carefully considers how it impacts others or how others will respond to that decision. Sadly, this brings me to no life - at least not mine.
You see, life brings you a lot of paths you can take. However, it is like no one path is the same for anyone. I'm sure you can say you've had some interesting forks-in-the-road instantly appear throughout your life. There are hard decisions to make and everyone has their opinion about how you should go about making the journey. If I could do anything, I would just ask God to take me to Heaven instead of making difficult decision, but obviously, I think he has me at the fork for a reason. Here is my advice: Seek truth. Seek truth from God. Seek truth in His Word.
People are always going to give you their two cents. Coming from the girl who wants to make everyone happy - forget those people (am I acutally saying this? Sorry - shocker to me!). Yes, you can listen and take their advice for what it is worth and maybe some of it will be good for you to apply to your life - but, ultimately, my goal is to be in God's will. Right now, my life is at a fork in more than one area - maybe I need to take the road less traveled - maybe I need to take some risks. Maybe I need to take the road where people may not understand the "hows" or "whys" and may respond with a, "What are you thinking?" or "I don't know if you are making the right decision." Maybe.
So what now? I'll be honest. I'm nervous and don't necessary like the unknowns of life. The Lord is building in me a lot of trust in Him. He has taken a lot of my controlling hand off of my life. I know this is the best, but trusting can be hard...
Luckily this is what God says:
Matthew 17:20
"If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you"
So my mustard seed faith is simply this: I know the Lord is good and has plans to prosper me. He will reveal to me which roads I am to take throughout my lifetime if I remain in Him.
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