I would say that most girls start young in their dreams of becoming married. I know I did. I think Barbie got married to Ken at least once a day. For a long time, we hear and are fed all the romantic and fun that you have in marriage...a wonderful life of travel, sex, cuddling, going home together, decorating your house, the joys of having to pick up his dirty laundry - how "wife" of you - eating all your meals together, having babies, etc. I think that sometimes we don't always see the reality of it until we are in it or someone opens up to us about it. Maybe, I've just been blind for so long.
I'm struggling. See...I thought marriage was something I always wanted - something that was so great and perfect, but lets be honest: there are major struggles in any marriage and everything is not peaches and roses. Maybe I've just heard/seen some pretty tough marriages lately, which is affecting my view, but perhaps I need to see this reality.
You are making a decision to be with one person the rest of you E.V.E.R-L.O.V.I.N.G life. Who would be so bold to marry me!? You know I've got my issues, yes I do...and you do too. It is a scary thought to think that I could love someone and he could love me through all the...well, let's be honest...shit - for like 50+ years, even! Seriously?! Emotions aside...you've got to buckle down and stick with that person when they smell, can't put their clothes in a laundry basket, annoy the hell out of you, and hurt you because they are being so darn selfish. And I apologize now to whatever poor boy decides I'm his for life. He will be so upset to know that I'm a bitch when I'm not in a good mood or Aunt Flow comes into town. I hold a grudge if you do not make me feel like you don't want me around. I am a drill sergeant when it comes to being on time to places (which isn't as bad as it used to be). If I'm hungry - you better watch out and not keep me from my meal too much longer. Oh I'm sure you all could point more flaws out in me...but I'll save myself from allowing you to. ;-)
Look...life isn't so much about marriage anymore. I hope one day I can have a family and all those "fun" things like traveling and coming home to him and sex because I think there are those wonderful and beautiful moments in a marriage and probably more often than I realize. However, marriage, I feel, may be so much more about serving the man I'm to be with - laying myself down for him when it is ugly. Choosing to stay married to him when I feel like I don't love him and I question if this was the right thing to do.
We are the bride of Christ. God's love for us shows the perfect example of how a marriage should be. He picks up our nasty laundry, deals with our spiteful and selfish attitudes, listens to our bitter and angry words, comes into our mess - the one we created, and instead of backing out and saying He is done, He picks up our nasty laundry and cleans it, He serves us despite our selfishness, He responds to our bitter and angry words with love and compassion, and He helps us rebuild the mess we've made. What amazing love.
No human love is perfect like Christ's and we will for sure fail...but if a man is ever called to commit to be in a marriage with me knowing full well the ugly they will endure and they still decide they will will rely on Christ and use His love for them as an example and blueprint...I would be so blessed.
Here's the thing: I think when you find that you know someone's crap and know there may be a lot more of it that you haven't realize but will once you get married and you still choose to commit, love, pray, desire communion with them like Christ does for you...that must be a pretty special person. I don't think God just brings those type of people into your life everyday.
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