Hilltop

One foot in front of the other...I take this path so often I could probably run it in my sleep. 24 years I have walked and run these sidewalks. I have traveled miles on them only to find that there is this place. This special view that gets me everytime. You hate getting there - sweat beading down your face, short breaths that seem harder than they should be, burning sideaches that threaten you to turn around, running up hills that make your legs scream...but there you find yourself. Some people probably miss it...they don't realize that right in their own neighborhood on this hilltop is a view overlooking the next town - at night it is one of the most beautiful views. The light from the town softly lifts into the sky and as you look up you can see stars, the moon, the stillness. It is here I am reminded just how small I am. It is so easy to get caught up in life. Your problems, your struggles, your desires seem so large in the day-to-day. Your focus is so easily drawn to yourself. But I stood on that hilltop tonight - looking out on this small town and everything faded for a moment and I came to a reality: I am small, and He is "I Am" - He is so much bigger than my issues, my strength, my fears, my desires. And I was fully aware of my weakness, my need for a Savior. Here is a blameless man who carried a cross - for me...a selfish and sinful person. And I thought...why? Why did You do that for me? For someone who You knew would reject You time and time again? I'm so unworthy of that kind of love, yet you know what I long for is unfailing love and you give it to me time and time again - even after all I've failed to give you. How many times have I lost the beauty of this? How many times have I not been moved by His unfailing love? On the hilltop, I sat for a moment with my Savior and cried out, "I'm sorry. Forgive me."

::Bind up these broken bones/Mercy bend and bring me back to life/But not before you show me how to die::