Toilet Paper

The moment. The moment you realize something is wrong. Those stares from other people are just an indication that you aren't getting something right. You feel a little exposed but wonder if you are just blowing things out of proportion. You look around at others - trying to read the shift in their body language. What are they trying to tell you? And then it catches your eye. I'm that person...the one with toilet paper stuck to my shoe....or food in your front teeth....or your fly is down....

You ever feel you don't get it right? You ever feel like you need to get it right all the time - to be that perfect person? So often I think we try to look put-together in front of those we love (and those we think we want to love us). We don't necessarily get down to the nitty-gritty gross parts of our lives because we are afraid. Afraid of what? Rejection. Losing our worth. Giving into unknowns. Being exposed. Embarrassed.

I'm so often reminded that I'm not perfect, and for someone like me who likes to know how things are going to play out or to have a "backup plan," I find myself on my knees when things don't go the way I thought. Ultimately, my weaknesses are out in the open for people to harp on or for me to harp on myself.

Here is a hymn I love...and what I love most is the first verse because it constantly keeps me in perspective of my where I stand in life - that my life is not my own, my strength is weak, and I have a Savior that wants to take control and show me His power and love for me, and all he asks is for me to be faithful and watch. We don't always get it right and sometimes we have toilet paper stuck to our shoes. Luckily, there is always a chance for it to be removed.

Jesus Paid it All
(Listen here)

I hear the Savior say
Thy strength indeed is small
Child of weakness watch and pray
Find in me thine all in all

Jesus paid it all
All to him I owe
Sin had left a crimson stain
He washed it white as snow

Lord now indeed I find
Thy power and thine alone
Can change the lepers spots
And melt the heart of stone

Jesus paid it all
All to him I owe
Sin had left a crimson stain
He washed it white as snow

It's washed away! All my sin! And all my shame!

And when before the throne
I stand in him complete
Jesus died my soul to save
My lips shall still repeat

Jesus paid it all
All to him I owe
Sin had left a crimson stain
He washed it white as snow
Sin had left a crimson stain
He washed it white as snow

Oh praise the one who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead (x6)

Jesus paid it all
All to him I owe
Sin had left a crimson stain
He washed it white as snow