BaDonkadonk

Every.Woman’s.Battle.

Two.Simple.Words.

Self
Image

If it is true that men think about sex every 3-7 minutes (or whatever ridiculously short amount of time that statistic states), I’m pretty sure girls think about their image in that ridiculously short amount of time.

Look at self in mirror before shower…analyze…pick…turn head to side…suck in…push out…push up (no, not the exercise)…sigh...better hop in shower before late to work.

Towel wrapped around wet hair while standing in front of closet…What should I wear today? What is going to make me look skinny? What is going to get the attention of the opposite sex? What item will get compliments from co-workers, friends, mom, dad, cousin, gas station attendant, sales clerk, anyone-that-would-see-me? Grab washed, clean pants…crap…they need to stretch a bit so I don’t feel pudgy. So we do the little stretchy movement…bend down, bend over, sit down…ugh…I feel fat. I should watch what I eat more. I’m not in shape like other girls. Wish I didn’t have these hips and thighs…I need to go on a diet and firm up my belly. And so begins the downward spiral of self-image.

All of this is just the beginning…just part of a morning routine. This doesn’t include the magazines and diet books we see as we wait in line at the grocery store, the Facebook status updates of our friends sharing the progression of their diet and pounds lost, the constant talk of friends who want to lose “just 5 pounds” to feel satisfied even though they are sizes lower than you and look like a million bucks, the fact that your siblings got the “tall and skinny” gene and you wondered what happen to you, the rib-bearing models who sell the clothing you are supposed to have, or the television shows that often spike thoughts about self-image like Biggest Loser, The Bachelorette, The Real Housewives of Plastic, The Kardashians….

For the most part, men may struggle with lust more often than women, but more often than not, women battle the lust, the appetite for physical “perfection.”

So where does a girl even begin? How do we combat the daily struggle to fight destructive self-image thoughts, ideas, perceptions, and actions? How do we help those women who struggle with this more than ourselves? How do we tear down lies and build up truth? How do we impact a younger generation that faces the same dangerous messages? There are a million answers – a million suggestions, educated answers that any girl could spout off to you. The answers I have come from my own experiences, my own beliefs, and my own study and slight research of this topic. But most off all, I think that every women needs to define and re-define.

You see, the world (the fashion world) says that if you are a size 6, you are on the border of being too big. Here’s the truth…I’m anywhere between a size 8 and 10. This doesn’t exclude the fact that I used to run between a size 12-14 and it doesn’t exclude the fact that the average size of an American women is around a size 10. My question to you is how are we going to re-define this idea of what is too big? Can there be a “perfect” size. No. Because if you tell me that I can be a size 0 like my sister, you are telling me that my hip bones are as small as hers. I’m pretty sure in order for that to be true, I need to go saw off some bone or crush them closer together. That just sounds like a little too much work and pain for my liking. Pear, Apple, Whole wheat Spaghetti noodle, carrot, petite plum…whatever food fits your fancy…not everyone can expect to fall into the “ideal” size. Apples and Oranges.

So, wait…I’m telling you I was a size 14. Yes, I was. Yes…I am not any longer. So what did I do to lose the weight? Aren’t I being a little contradictory? Look – I was overweight – or “well nourished” as one doctor wrote during a routine physical in high school. Clearly I forgot about that memory. I didn’t watch what I ate. I’m addicted to anything chocolate. I liked my snacks of Cheetos and Hostess Cupcakes and double portions of dinner and there was probably emotional eating as well…and eating out of boredom. I played sports in high school which also gave me a reason to justify how I ate. My decision to lose weight came from the low self-image I had of myself and my emotional self-indulgence. Not because I was necessarily…eh…fat…but because I knew I could get worse if I didn’t make a change, in college I decided that I needled to lose weight...the old fashion way – exercise at least 3 times a week for 30-45 minutes, and stick to 1500-1700 hundred calories a day. Guess what – wow…it worked. Plans like Weight Watches, South Beach, Atkins, Restrictive-eating, pills, Slim Fast, may work for some – but do they give you the tools you need to take yourself off a diet and keep the weight off? Do they teach you how to shop for food at the grocery store? Most importantly, do they give you a well-balanced diet, that god-forbid, includes carbohydrates?! Re-define and research what healthy and diet really mean before diets that promoted “meal shakes,” “full bars,” diet pills and carb-free came to be all the rage.

Finally, definitely not last on the millions of answers, but definitely the most important. Granted…some may not believe in what I’m going to say next, but I don’t know any other more sensible and reasonable answer. Do you realize you are loved? I know, here she goes on her crazy train to crazy town. But seriously…Do you know what all humans desire? Unfailing love. Think about it. You do…you desire to be loved. I know I do…and often my appetite to be skinny…to be “perfect” is really just a greater desire to be accepted and loved and to hear someone say that there is nothing that they would change about who I am. And the truth is you are and I am loved. But I’m not talking about the love and acceptance from a spouse/bf, a friend, a society, a community, a world. I’m thankful for that kind of love, BUT (and there is a but)…There is a greater pursuer who has said that you are beautiful the way you were created. That every detail about you was carefully considered and planned out from the very beginning. That there is nothing – absolutely nothing – that can take away your value and worth and beauty. From the hangnail on your toe to the oily hair follicle on your head – you are beautifully loved through and through. Remember that. Remember that there was effort and work to make you who you are and no one compares to you…which means this game I play, you play, of comparing yourself to another person whether they are prettier or “uglier” is obsolete…useless…self-torture…selfish…hurtful…unloving. He first loved us...what would happen if we dug deeper to discover what that love really looked like?

I have a feeling maybe the statistic would no longer be only 7 minutes…